J.D. Songfic: Mama
By Monica

ATF Universe


J.D. sat at his computer keyboard and continued his research on Lynyrd Skynryd.  As he had been pulling up "Gimme Three Steps" for teasing Buck he had sampled a couple of their other songs.  He did not have time then to read some of the information he skimmed over as he searched.  But now that he was home alone with Buck out with Chris, he decided to follow up on that. He was always one who had to scratch when curiosity itched.

One of the first things he read about was the plane crash that took the lives of Ronnie Van Zant, the lead singer, and Steve Gaines, one of the guitarists. Oddly he remembered the first reference he had ever heard made to that crash was in the movie "Con Air". J.D. remembered that the song "Sweet Home Alabama" was playing on the plane and Steve Buscemi's character said, "Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash."  But he had not thought much more about it. It was simply a funny line in an action movie about a band that was before his time.

What he was surprised to learn was that the band had actually continued on after the crash.  And as he looked through the catalogue of the albums they released after that, he found a song title that intrigued him, simply because it struck a chord with the young man who had been forced to say goodbye to his mother all too soon.  He pulled up the lyrics even as he wondered what the song itself sounded like.

Mama Afraid To Say Goodbye
She'd wake us up early every mornin'
She'd help us say our prayers every night
She was always there to help us through the hard times
We could count on her to make everything alright

He had been an only child, but the words certainly described his mother. She was an amazing woman, unfailing and true in her love for her son.  They had not had much, but she made certain the he remembered to be thankful for what they had.  And for so long, they always just had each other. The hardest time of his life had been when he learned that would not always be true and he had been terribly afraid of saying goodbye to her.

I remember swingin' on the front porch
Papa said there's somethin' I need to say tonight
Mama's been sick for a long time
Let's pray to God she can make it through the night

No Papa came to tell him the news. He had simply known, even through all the long denial during her long illness, he had known.  But even so, she had been the one to sit him down and make him accept the fact that she would be leaving him.  For a woman so weak and ill, she had been so strong for him.

Mama don't wanna say goodbye
She said wipe those tears from your eyes
Mama I don't wanna say goodbye
It was written in the Heavens and the skies above
Son I gave you birth showed you all my love
I can't think of this life without you it's hard to try
Mama I'm afraid to say goodbye

J.D. found himself pushing the long bangs out of his eyes as he blinked back the tears that rose in his eyes at those words. They were no longer lyrics to a song that he had never heard but memories of the worst day of his life.

Now kids I've been hangin' on a long time
I hate to leave this world before you're grown
Remember everything that I've taught you
Remember all the good times when I'm gone

J.D. sighed as he remembered his mother's heartfelt regret at not being able to see the good man that she was so very certain that he would become.  And always his greatest hope was that he was not letting her down in anyway.  He hero-worshipped his teammates, but even deeper than that was his desire to make his mother proud.

She whispered in my ear before she passed away
Son it's time to be a man ain't nothin' left to say
Jesus walked on water I know it's true
When it comes time he'll call you home
I hope you're ready too

And J.D. prayed that when his time came that he was ready too. He had no intention of going to an early grave, but when he did go, he knew that his first wish would be to say hello to his mother and know that he would never have to say goodbye again.


Mama (Afraid To Say Goodbye)
(E. King, J.& D. Van Zant, Gary Rossington)

She'd wake us up early every mornin'
She'd help us say our prayers every night
She was always there to help us through the hard times
We could count on her to make everything alright
I remember swingin' on the front porch
Papa said there's somethin' I need to say tonight
Mama's been sick for a long time
Let's pray to God she can make it through the night
(chorus)
Mama don't wanna say goodbye
She said wipe those tears from your eyes
Mama I don't wanna say goodbye
It was written in the Heavens and the skies above
Son I gave you birth showed you all my love
I can't think of this life without you it's hard to try
Mama I'm afraid to say goodbye
Now kids I've been hangin' on a long time
I hate to leave this world before your grown
Remember everything that I've taught you
Remember all the good times when I'm gone
(repeat chorus)
She whispered in my ear before she passed away
Son it's time to be a man ain't nothin' left to say
Jesus walked on water I know it's true
When it comes time he'll call you home
I hope you're ready too
(repeat chorus)

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